The past two weeks have brought about several blessings.
First, we have finally gotten our family insurance. Yay! Now, we can finish up the financial report and get our physicals done.
With that done, we should be able to get all our paperwork completed and turned in by January. Then, we can do our home study in February and hopefully go on the waiting list by March!
Second, we are starting to get some of the baby bottles back that we gave out for fundraising. I have really enjoyed counting all the change. I know that may sound kind of crazy to go through and count the change myself, but I really like being able to see how much money is in each bottle.
Third, we received amazing blessings from my school. Five elementary classes, mine included, all brought in money to go towards the adoption. Talk about selfless children! It made my day to see how excited they were to give to me, even when giving to us meant not giving gifts to each other! These sweet children will never know how much it means to us! Overall, they raised $675! I will never be able to thank these families enough. Many of the children have not had me as a teacher yet, which means their parents do not know me very well either, yet they were still willing to help us in our journey to become parents.
Along with the money, I received notes from four of my students. They were such sweet notes about how they couldn't wait to meet the baby one day and that I will be a good mom. One of them, however, was not written for me....it was written for our future child. It was such a sweet note. It made me cry! I can't wait to put all of these notes and cards in a book to show our child how many people were so excited to help us become his or her parents.
Overall, our family and friends have donated $995! Wow!
Thank you so much for the continued love, support, and prayers.
I want to leave you with a video of a song that helps me remember to worship and thank God everyday during our wait.
http://youtu.be/i6X71sXagUY
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thankful for Infertility
As I've gone through the month of November, I have participated in the 30 days of thanks on Facebook. This has gotten me thinking about all the things I am thankful for in my life. This morning, on Thanksgiving Day, God has placed it on my heart to share with you that there are things to be thankful for in dealing with infertility. Here are a few:
1. I'm thankful that I've never been pregnant. I know many of you are probably thinking, "What are you talking about?! You are going through the adoption process to get a baby, so why are you glad you've never been pregnant?!" Let me explain. I have always said that I wanted to have a child of my own. What woman doesn't. However, I have also said that I don't think I could ever be strong enough to handle getting pregnant and then suffering a miscarriage. I have known several woman who had miscarriages, some of them suffered several. I know that it has made all of these women stronger, but I don't think I am strong enough to handle that. Therefore, I am thankful that I've never gotten pregnant. For me, infertility is much easier to handle when I know I cannot get pregnant at all. Yes, I know miracles can happen. No, I'm not saying that I don't think a miracle could happen for us. But, I'm sure many other couples who have dealt with infertility will tell you that while you know miracles can happen, it is much easier to be realistic so you don't continue to be absolutely heartbroken every month when it just doesn't happen.
2. I'm thankful that these trials have brought Michael and me closer. So many times infertility issues drive couples apart. Sometimes the husband or wife can feel like they are being blamed for the infertility. How is that fair? It's not like he or she wanted this to happen! I am thankful every day for how wonderful Michael was during all the testing, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it was for him. He has continues to be a wonderful support through all the trials we have gone through to finally make it to this point in our journey. I could not have asked for a better partner in all this. He is amazing!
3. I'm thankful for in-laws who have been through these same trials. Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, it has been extremely helpful and comforting to have the Cornwalls to talk to about our journey. They know exactly what we are going through. They are helping us with the adoption process because they went through this several times. They may have only adopted two children, but they went through the process in several different states since Mr. Cornwall was in the Air Force. Unfortunately, they also know the heartbreak of having a birth mother change her mind when they had prepared to bring home a precious baby. I pray that Michael and I do not have to deal with that, but I know if we do they will be right there with us every step of the way. They will cry with us, comfort us, and let us yell and scream if we need to. They have already let us do that so far and are able to not take anything personally because they have been in our shoes.
4. I'm thankful that God continues to teach me new things through this journey. I am learning to trust in God's perfect plan for us instead of my "perfect" plan. I am learning to trust in God's timing. It is actually an amazing and crazy thing to sit around and wonder: is our child conceived yet? Is there a birth mother out there right now that could be carrying our child?
I could probably go on with other things I'm thankful for in this time, but I'll stop there for now.
I would like to be honest about something though. During most of the year, I can go on with my life as normal and the infertility (now...2 yrs after being diagnosed) doesn't upset me as much. But, there is something about the holidays that makes it harder. Every holiday season I think, "Hopefully next year we'll have our child and will be celebrating all the fun firsts." So, as we come to another holiday season and we are still childless, it does hurt. I want so badly to be able to send out an adorable Pinterest-inspired Christmas card of my precious baby. Once again, I do know it will happen and I do trust in God's timing, but I do hope that people who have not dealt with infertility can understand our pain, especially this time of year. However, that doesn't mean you need to tiptoe around my feelings. I promise you that I am truly happy for any of my family and friends who are pregnant or have new babies.
I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this time with your family and friends!
1. I'm thankful that I've never been pregnant. I know many of you are probably thinking, "What are you talking about?! You are going through the adoption process to get a baby, so why are you glad you've never been pregnant?!" Let me explain. I have always said that I wanted to have a child of my own. What woman doesn't. However, I have also said that I don't think I could ever be strong enough to handle getting pregnant and then suffering a miscarriage. I have known several woman who had miscarriages, some of them suffered several. I know that it has made all of these women stronger, but I don't think I am strong enough to handle that. Therefore, I am thankful that I've never gotten pregnant. For me, infertility is much easier to handle when I know I cannot get pregnant at all. Yes, I know miracles can happen. No, I'm not saying that I don't think a miracle could happen for us. But, I'm sure many other couples who have dealt with infertility will tell you that while you know miracles can happen, it is much easier to be realistic so you don't continue to be absolutely heartbroken every month when it just doesn't happen.
2. I'm thankful that these trials have brought Michael and me closer. So many times infertility issues drive couples apart. Sometimes the husband or wife can feel like they are being blamed for the infertility. How is that fair? It's not like he or she wanted this to happen! I am thankful every day for how wonderful Michael was during all the testing, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it was for him. He has continues to be a wonderful support through all the trials we have gone through to finally make it to this point in our journey. I could not have asked for a better partner in all this. He is amazing!
3. I'm thankful for in-laws who have been through these same trials. Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, it has been extremely helpful and comforting to have the Cornwalls to talk to about our journey. They know exactly what we are going through. They are helping us with the adoption process because they went through this several times. They may have only adopted two children, but they went through the process in several different states since Mr. Cornwall was in the Air Force. Unfortunately, they also know the heartbreak of having a birth mother change her mind when they had prepared to bring home a precious baby. I pray that Michael and I do not have to deal with that, but I know if we do they will be right there with us every step of the way. They will cry with us, comfort us, and let us yell and scream if we need to. They have already let us do that so far and are able to not take anything personally because they have been in our shoes.
4. I'm thankful that God continues to teach me new things through this journey. I am learning to trust in God's perfect plan for us instead of my "perfect" plan. I am learning to trust in God's timing. It is actually an amazing and crazy thing to sit around and wonder: is our child conceived yet? Is there a birth mother out there right now that could be carrying our child?
I could probably go on with other things I'm thankful for in this time, but I'll stop there for now.
I would like to be honest about something though. During most of the year, I can go on with my life as normal and the infertility (now...2 yrs after being diagnosed) doesn't upset me as much. But, there is something about the holidays that makes it harder. Every holiday season I think, "Hopefully next year we'll have our child and will be celebrating all the fun firsts." So, as we come to another holiday season and we are still childless, it does hurt. I want so badly to be able to send out an adorable Pinterest-inspired Christmas card of my precious baby. Once again, I do know it will happen and I do trust in God's timing, but I do hope that people who have not dealt with infertility can understand our pain, especially this time of year. However, that doesn't mean you need to tiptoe around my feelings. I promise you that I am truly happy for any of my family and friends who are pregnant or have new babies.
I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this time with your family and friends!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Plan A
Everyone has one of those mornings where you wake up in a panic wondering what day it is and fearful you overslept. That was how my Saturday started at 5:30 this morning. I guess the fact that Michael had to be up super early for work today threw me off. So, needless to say I have been up since then because I just can't go back to sleep after waking up in a panic like that.
Since I woke up early, I laid in bed and checked Facebook on my phone. Yes, this is my morning routine. Yes, I know I'm addicted. But, that's not the point. While scrolling through my newsfeed I noticed that my sister, Heather, had commented on a link to another couple's adoption blog. So, of course I decided to check it out to see how their process was going and how they had come to their decision to adopt.
What I found made me think, cry, and thank God for where we are in life. Their journey is fairly similar to ours. Marriage, trying to start a family, infertility, crying, hurting, and finally moving on.
Here is the thing that really stuck with me. The name of their blog is Cheers to Plan A. She explained that this title came from a friend of hers who has adopted who said that sometimes you have to give up plan A for God's plan. But, she made a fantastic point. God's plan is plan A! (Even though it may not be ours.) Therefore, we are working on fulfilling plan A.
I am so glad Heather commented on that link so I could see it. I look forward to continuing to follow their journey. I have a feeling I will learn many more valuable lessons through their journey as well as through our own.
Please continue to pray for us as we go through the process. Pray for our future child and his or her birth family.
Thank you, as always, for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. I know that Michael and I would not have made it to this point without everyone's support.
Since I woke up early, I laid in bed and checked Facebook on my phone. Yes, this is my morning routine. Yes, I know I'm addicted. But, that's not the point. While scrolling through my newsfeed I noticed that my sister, Heather, had commented on a link to another couple's adoption blog. So, of course I decided to check it out to see how their process was going and how they had come to their decision to adopt.
What I found made me think, cry, and thank God for where we are in life. Their journey is fairly similar to ours. Marriage, trying to start a family, infertility, crying, hurting, and finally moving on.
Here is the thing that really stuck with me. The name of their blog is Cheers to Plan A. She explained that this title came from a friend of hers who has adopted who said that sometimes you have to give up plan A for God's plan. But, she made a fantastic point. God's plan is plan A! (Even though it may not be ours.) Therefore, we are working on fulfilling plan A.
I am so glad Heather commented on that link so I could see it. I look forward to continuing to follow their journey. I have a feeling I will learn many more valuable lessons through their journey as well as through our own.
Please continue to pray for us as we go through the process. Pray for our future child and his or her birth family.
Thank you, as always, for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. I know that Michael and I would not have made it to this point without everyone's support.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Keep Calm and Fill Out The Next Form
I know I haven't written in a while, but there hasn't been much to write about.
Right now we are still working on paperwork. We've gotten most of the easy paperwork done. The main thing we have left to do now are the financial report and our autobiography.
The financial report is on hold because we decided it is best to wait until January when Michael can get on the insurance at Chappy's because the family coverage through my school was just not feasible. So, that is on hold until then.
The autobiography consists of 3 pages of questions we have to answer. We each have to answer most of the questions individually because several of them are about our families and childhood. We will get it all done, but this part is taking a lot of time. It is very stressful because you want everything to sound so perfect and amazing but, they want to know all the imperfect parts of you too. It's just overall a very interesting process. I understand the need to know all these things about us because they want to make sure they are placing an innocent child in a good and healthy environment, but sometimes it is so overwhelming. Not to mention it's hard at times not to think about how "normal" families don't have to answer pages of questions before they can have a baby.
Now, the good stuff...
First, there are 15 great people who are working on filling the baby bottles for the first round already. In fact, one person already has one full. I just have to find a time to go pick it up!
Second, a sweet, sweet friend, Jamie, has so kindly started making bows and hats to sell to raise money for us. I don't have the words to express how much this means to me. She has two boys to take care of, one of which has been in the hospital over the weekend, yet she is still willing to spend her extra time making these things to help us. I will never be able to repay her. She is truly a blessing from God!
Third, I bought a new puzzle. Once I opened the other one, I realized many of the pieces were too small to write a name on them. So, the new one is still a map of the world, but regular sized/shaped pieces and more kid friendly as well. And an added bonus, my students are having fun getting to put together the other puzzle in their free time.
I don't know how long it will be before I update again because the interviews can't start until we have all our paperwork in which can't happen 100% until the insurance stuff is settled. Thank you for all your support and encouragement!
Right now we are still working on paperwork. We've gotten most of the easy paperwork done. The main thing we have left to do now are the financial report and our autobiography.
The financial report is on hold because we decided it is best to wait until January when Michael can get on the insurance at Chappy's because the family coverage through my school was just not feasible. So, that is on hold until then.
The autobiography consists of 3 pages of questions we have to answer. We each have to answer most of the questions individually because several of them are about our families and childhood. We will get it all done, but this part is taking a lot of time. It is very stressful because you want everything to sound so perfect and amazing but, they want to know all the imperfect parts of you too. It's just overall a very interesting process. I understand the need to know all these things about us because they want to make sure they are placing an innocent child in a good and healthy environment, but sometimes it is so overwhelming. Not to mention it's hard at times not to think about how "normal" families don't have to answer pages of questions before they can have a baby.
Now, the good stuff...
First, there are 15 great people who are working on filling the baby bottles for the first round already. In fact, one person already has one full. I just have to find a time to go pick it up!
Second, a sweet, sweet friend, Jamie, has so kindly started making bows and hats to sell to raise money for us. I don't have the words to express how much this means to me. She has two boys to take care of, one of which has been in the hospital over the weekend, yet she is still willing to spend her extra time making these things to help us. I will never be able to repay her. She is truly a blessing from God!
Third, I bought a new puzzle. Once I opened the other one, I realized many of the pieces were too small to write a name on them. So, the new one is still a map of the world, but regular sized/shaped pieces and more kid friendly as well. And an added bonus, my students are having fun getting to put together the other puzzle in their free time.
I don't know how long it will be before I update again because the interviews can't start until we have all our paperwork in which can't happen 100% until the insurance stuff is settled. Thank you for all your support and encouragement!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Fundraising
Now that I am on fall break, I have had some time to run errands and work more on our adoption process.
Today, I bought 15 bottles to give out for those locally who are willing to save their change for us. I am hoping to have the first 15 bottles out by Monday.
I also found a puzzle for the puzzle fundraiser. I was slightly picky about the puzzle. I wanted it to look nice, be gender neutral, and be something our child will want to have in their room forever. Well, after looking I found a puzzle that covered all of those and is educational! It is a map of the world. The pieces are shaped like the country itself and throughout the ocean are facts about each country in alphabetical order. The teacher in me sees all the possibilities for use of this puzzle in the future.
Today, I bought 15 bottles to give out for those locally who are willing to save their change for us. I am hoping to have the first 15 bottles out by Monday.
I also found a puzzle for the puzzle fundraiser. I was slightly picky about the puzzle. I wanted it to look nice, be gender neutral, and be something our child will want to have in their room forever. Well, after looking I found a puzzle that covered all of those and is educational! It is a map of the world. The pieces are shaped like the country itself and throughout the ocean are facts about each country in alphabetical order. The teacher in me sees all the possibilities for use of this puzzle in the future.
I also set up our GoFundMe site. This is where you can give a donation for your puzzle piece or just to give a donation in general. Each puzzle piece can be sponsored for $5. Your name will go on the back of the piece. I will post pictures throughout the process of putting the puzzle together. I look forward to seeing the finished product with the names of all our friends and family who are supporting us in this journey.
I would just like to say that Michael and I are extremely blessed to have so many people in our lives who are behind us 100% in our journey to parenthood through adoption. We are so thankful for all your love, support, and encouragement. We can't wait for the day when we can share pictures of our beautiful blessing with you right here on this blog.
Thank you again and God bless you and your family!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork
Want to know the hardest part about adoption besides what seems like never ending waiting? All the paperwork!
I spent about 2 hours last night filling out paperwork and gathering information about references. The only major form we have left to fill out is our financial report. That is Michael's area of expertise, so now it's his turn to work on some paperwork!
We are very lucky in the fact that our ABI/FBI screenings were updated for foster care in June, so we are able to use those with the adoption agency. That is going to save us a lot of time because it can take up to 12 weeks for those clearances to come back.
The agency says that we could have our home study complete in as little as 6 weeks if we can get all our forms and other info turned in in a timely manner.
Our only hiccup is insurance. Changing over to family coverage is quite the financial leap! But, we have to show proof that we will be able to add an adopted child to our policy ASAP, so we can't wait until we get a child to switch over.
I am looking into fundraising ideas now. There are two ideas that I really like so far: give out baby bottles for people to fill with their spare change and/or having people sponsor a piece of a puzzle ($5/piece) that will be put together and framed in the nursery. Feel free to send me your ideas or let me know which one you would be more willing to do.
Thank you to everyone who has been so loving and encouraging during all our trials trying to become parents. I truly feel that we are finally on the path that is going to lead to our child/children.
I spent about 2 hours last night filling out paperwork and gathering information about references. The only major form we have left to fill out is our financial report. That is Michael's area of expertise, so now it's his turn to work on some paperwork!
We are very lucky in the fact that our ABI/FBI screenings were updated for foster care in June, so we are able to use those with the adoption agency. That is going to save us a lot of time because it can take up to 12 weeks for those clearances to come back.
The agency says that we could have our home study complete in as little as 6 weeks if we can get all our forms and other info turned in in a timely manner.
Our only hiccup is insurance. Changing over to family coverage is quite the financial leap! But, we have to show proof that we will be able to add an adopted child to our policy ASAP, so we can't wait until we get a child to switch over.
I am looking into fundraising ideas now. There are two ideas that I really like so far: give out baby bottles for people to fill with their spare change and/or having people sponsor a piece of a puzzle ($5/piece) that will be put together and framed in the nursery. Feel free to send me your ideas or let me know which one you would be more willing to do.
Thank you to everyone who has been so loving and encouraging during all our trials trying to become parents. I truly feel that we are finally on the path that is going to lead to our child/children.
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Here and Now
Now that you have the background story, let me tell you where we are today.
Today, Michael and I went to meet with an agency in Homewood. There were many pros to this agency:
1. The man who runs the agency is an adoption lawyer, so they will be able to handle all aspects of the adoption through their office.
2. They will do our home study and are willing to send it to any other agency if we choose not to go through theirs.
3. They do not call you with a child until the baby is born and the 5 day period the birth family has to change their mind has passed, meaning you do not have to deal with the heartbreak of being matched with a birth mother who later changes her mind and chooses to keep the baby.
4. They will send a social worker to us in Montgomery to do our home study.
Right now we know for sure that we are going to use them to do our home study. We will see how things turn out after that because adoption is extremely expensive.
I am already looking into fundraising ideas. If you have one, feel free to share it.
I look forward to blogging about our journey!
Today, Michael and I went to meet with an agency in Homewood. There were many pros to this agency:
1. The man who runs the agency is an adoption lawyer, so they will be able to handle all aspects of the adoption through their office.
2. They will do our home study and are willing to send it to any other agency if we choose not to go through theirs.
3. They do not call you with a child until the baby is born and the 5 day period the birth family has to change their mind has passed, meaning you do not have to deal with the heartbreak of being matched with a birth mother who later changes her mind and chooses to keep the baby.
4. They will send a social worker to us in Montgomery to do our home study.
Right now we know for sure that we are going to use them to do our home study. We will see how things turn out after that because adoption is extremely expensive.
I am already looking into fundraising ideas. If you have one, feel free to share it.
I look forward to blogging about our journey!
Let's start from the beginning...
So, I figure if I'm going to write a blog about our journey to adoption I should give the back story of how we came to this place.
Michael and I were married on November 21, 2009. We both knew from the start we wanted a family one day, but we agreed to wait a year before trying to start our family. We made it 9 months before I convinced Michael to go ahead and start trying. We tried for a year with no success, so we went to my doctor to start all the loads of testing. After all the testing, Michael was diagnosed with azoospermia. This, of course, was heartbreaking for us both; however, since Michael is adopted himself we had talked about adopting even if we had biological children.
Of course as soon as we knew adoption was the route we would be taking, we begin researching adoption agencies all over the US. I found one in California and we got as far as being sent the contract to work with them. Because Michael's parents had been through adoption, we had them look over the contract. They realized that this company was more of a facilitator and we would spend tons of money with no promise of a baby. So, we were back to the drawing board.
We took some time away and happened upon an informational meeting about foster care. We went to the meeting and decided this was something we felt might be a good route for us. Weeks later the doors opened for us to go through a private, Christian agency for foster care. So, we went through the classes and home study. We were finally licensed as foster parents in June of this year. Unfortunately, things just did not pan out how they said they would. So, we decided to part ways.
Now, here we are today and we are back to looking at adoption through an agency.
Michael and I were married on November 21, 2009. We both knew from the start we wanted a family one day, but we agreed to wait a year before trying to start our family. We made it 9 months before I convinced Michael to go ahead and start trying. We tried for a year with no success, so we went to my doctor to start all the loads of testing. After all the testing, Michael was diagnosed with azoospermia. This, of course, was heartbreaking for us both; however, since Michael is adopted himself we had talked about adopting even if we had biological children.
Of course as soon as we knew adoption was the route we would be taking, we begin researching adoption agencies all over the US. I found one in California and we got as far as being sent the contract to work with them. Because Michael's parents had been through adoption, we had them look over the contract. They realized that this company was more of a facilitator and we would spend tons of money with no promise of a baby. So, we were back to the drawing board.
We took some time away and happened upon an informational meeting about foster care. We went to the meeting and decided this was something we felt might be a good route for us. Weeks later the doors opened for us to go through a private, Christian agency for foster care. So, we went through the classes and home study. We were finally licensed as foster parents in June of this year. Unfortunately, things just did not pan out how they said they would. So, we decided to part ways.
Now, here we are today and we are back to looking at adoption through an agency.
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