This is the question we have been asked a lot lately. I don't mind people asking because it means that you care about us and are excited for us to be parents. Unfortunately, there is really only one answer to that question right now: we're still just waiting.
In all honesty, things are a little tough right now. We are feeling very stuck...like we are not moving any closer to our goal. Our agency has not had an adoption since mid-April. Also, last we heard, which I believe was in June, they had three birth mothers who had changed their minds in a two week span.
About two weeks ago the attorney who runs our agency was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. This has put us in a very difficult spot. The reason it's such a tough situation is because our agency is very small. There are four people that work for the agency: the attorney, his wife, and two consultants who help with all the paperwork. Obviously, the attorney will not be able to work as much as he has been once he starts treatment, and his wife will likely be with him as much as possible, which she should be. The consultant that we worked with while doing our home study is currently on sabbatical studying for her bar exam, so that leaves the other consultant basically running the agency. We received an email saying that they will continue to work as they always have, but having seen someone go through cancer treatments, I know that it is not very likely that they will be able to work like they have been.
So now, we have to decide if we should stick with the agency we are with or move on to another one. There are pros and cons to both. I wish God would send me a bright flashing sign that gives us the answer.
Honestly, the waiting is so much harder than I thought it would be. And it is really starting to hit both of us that we are definitely not getting any younger. We REALLY want a baby. We REALLY want to be parents.
It is really hard to have no idea what is going on. It's almost funny how the main thing we liked about our agency to begin with is becoming the thing that is making the waiting even harder. That being the fact that we have no idea if birth mothers are considering us for their child. At first we thought that sounded great because we wouldn't have to deal with the heartbreak of a failed adoption, but now I just feel so irritated because we have no idea if we are anywhere close to becoming parents or if we are looking at another 1-3 years of waiting.
I really wish our agency offered a Facebook group for the waiting families. I have started attending an infertility support group once a month, and it is great! But, at the same time, I'm not going through the same things as the other women in the group. I still very much appreciate their encouragement, prayers, and support. However, it would be wonderful to be able to speak with others who are not only waiting to adopt, but those who are specifically dealing with the same things we are with the agency.
Sorry the blog hasn't been updated much lately. I promise I will update when there is any important information. As always, thank you for your encouragement, prayers, and support.
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