I'm writing today with some very exciting news! We have just scheduled our home study interviews which is the last step!
Since I finished school for the year last Friday, I have been working on getting all the paperwork finished up and turned in. We turned in the very last of it yesterday. Bekah, our adoption "consultant" (at least that's what I call her), put all of our file together and sent it to our new social worker who will conduct the interviews and help us through the remainder of the process along with Family Adoption Services.
The social worker, Edie (yes, it's a woman...long e at the beginning), contacted me today to set up our interviews. After having done this all before with the foster care process, we know what to expect of the interviews. We set them up for June 12th at 10:30. She said it should take about 2 hours which is a lot shorter than the foster care interviews took. This is due to the 4 page autobiography we had to turn in. There aren't many questions left to ask that we didn't answer in that document.
Once this part is complete, they will finish the home study write up and we will become legally able to adopt a child. Then comes the hard part in this whole process.....waiting. Once our home study is complete it is simply a matter of waiting to be chosen by a birth mother.
This is all becoming very real! I'm really hoping that we will be one of those lucky couples that doesn't have to wait a long time for their baby, but I know that God will bring us OUR child in HIS timing. Please continue to pray for us, Family Adoption Services, the birth mother, and the baby. We cannot wait until the day we can post pictures of our baby!
Friday, May 30, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
One simple letter
I just finished writing our birth mother letter. I sent it to both sets of parents for them to look over it. Both sets said the letter sounded great. I'm so glad to have it done because this one letter could literally change our lives forever!
Honestly, while I was writing the letter I was simply focusing on making sure I included enough information while at the same time not giving too much personal information. Now that I'm done with the letter and have Michael's and our parents' approvals, it is really sinking in that this is all that a birth mother will have to decide if we are the family for her child. Wow! Two pages of information is all she gets. This will be the biggest decision of her life. This is a decision that will change all of our lives forever....and it's based off a two page letter.
I have so much respect for these birth mothers. Can you imagine being pregnant and scared? You make the choice to give your child the life that you can't give them by allowing your child to be adopted. Then, the agency gives you five letters from couples that match or closely match the characteristics you have asked for in an adoptive family. You then have two pages of information about this couple to decide if this is a family you can see raising your child. I don't know if I could do it!
Please continue to pray for us in this process as we come to the end of the home study and enter into the waiting period. Especially pray for the birth mother. Pray that she will be strong, that God will give her a sense of peace, that she will have a healthy pregnancy. Pray for the baby, that he/she might grow healthy and strong, pray that the delivery will go smoothly.
Keep in mind with our agency, we will not know we are matched with a baby until he/she is born and is 5 days old. They wait 5 days to call us because after 5 days, the birth mother must go to court to gain custody of the baby back. Therefore, once we get a call we will be able to immediately go get our baby. All of the pregnancy and delivery will have passed so that is why I ask for you to go ahead and pray for these things every time you think to pray for us and our child.
Thank you for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers!
Honestly, while I was writing the letter I was simply focusing on making sure I included enough information while at the same time not giving too much personal information. Now that I'm done with the letter and have Michael's and our parents' approvals, it is really sinking in that this is all that a birth mother will have to decide if we are the family for her child. Wow! Two pages of information is all she gets. This will be the biggest decision of her life. This is a decision that will change all of our lives forever....and it's based off a two page letter.
I have so much respect for these birth mothers. Can you imagine being pregnant and scared? You make the choice to give your child the life that you can't give them by allowing your child to be adopted. Then, the agency gives you five letters from couples that match or closely match the characteristics you have asked for in an adoptive family. You then have two pages of information about this couple to decide if this is a family you can see raising your child. I don't know if I could do it!
Please continue to pray for us in this process as we come to the end of the home study and enter into the waiting period. Especially pray for the birth mother. Pray that she will be strong, that God will give her a sense of peace, that she will have a healthy pregnancy. Pray for the baby, that he/she might grow healthy and strong, pray that the delivery will go smoothly.
Keep in mind with our agency, we will not know we are matched with a baby until he/she is born and is 5 days old. They wait 5 days to call us because after 5 days, the birth mother must go to court to gain custody of the baby back. Therefore, once we get a call we will be able to immediately go get our baby. All of the pregnancy and delivery will have passed so that is why I ask for you to go ahead and pray for these things every time you think to pray for us and our child.
Thank you for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
The light at the end of the tunnel
Hello everyone! I know it has been a while since I posted a new blog, but there hasn't been too much going on lately.
Here is where we are right now: we have turned in almost all of our paperwork. The only paperwork left to turn in is our financial report and Michael's physical form. He is going to get his physical done next week and we will finish the financial report by then to turn it in as well.
The few other things we have to do is go to a parenting class, write our birth mother letter, and then we will set up our interviews with a social worker.
We have a newborn care class that we are going to on May 13th that is done by Baptist East.
The birth mother letter is what the agency will give to the birth mother to chose a family for their child. Therefore, this letter is extremely important! This letter is all the birth mother will have to get to know us before deciding to give us her child. Wow! Now that I REALLY think about it, it is really scary to write this letter. I trust that God will guide us in writing this letter that will touch the heart of our child's birth mother.
Once we turn in all our paperwork, hopefully by the end of next week, we will be assigned a social worker who will come to our home to conduct three interviews. I'm not worried about this part because I figure it will not be very different from the ones we did for foster care. We will have to travel to Birmingham, where the agency is located, one more time to meet a few other people who will be an important part of our adoption. Once this is completed, we start the waiting process!
We have actually already been placed on the waiting list with the agency to hopefully reduce our wait time, but we will not actually be able to really be considered by a birth mother until we finish the whole process. Either way, we are definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
Please continue to pray for us as we finish the home study, the birth mother who will carry our child, and our future child. We can't wait to share more of our journey with you all. Thank you for all your love, encouragement, and prayers.
Here is where we are right now: we have turned in almost all of our paperwork. The only paperwork left to turn in is our financial report and Michael's physical form. He is going to get his physical done next week and we will finish the financial report by then to turn it in as well.
The few other things we have to do is go to a parenting class, write our birth mother letter, and then we will set up our interviews with a social worker.
We have a newborn care class that we are going to on May 13th that is done by Baptist East.
The birth mother letter is what the agency will give to the birth mother to chose a family for their child. Therefore, this letter is extremely important! This letter is all the birth mother will have to get to know us before deciding to give us her child. Wow! Now that I REALLY think about it, it is really scary to write this letter. I trust that God will guide us in writing this letter that will touch the heart of our child's birth mother.
Once we turn in all our paperwork, hopefully by the end of next week, we will be assigned a social worker who will come to our home to conduct three interviews. I'm not worried about this part because I figure it will not be very different from the ones we did for foster care. We will have to travel to Birmingham, where the agency is located, one more time to meet a few other people who will be an important part of our adoption. Once this is completed, we start the waiting process!
We have actually already been placed on the waiting list with the agency to hopefully reduce our wait time, but we will not actually be able to really be considered by a birth mother until we finish the whole process. Either way, we are definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
Please continue to pray for us as we finish the home study, the birth mother who will carry our child, and our future child. We can't wait to share more of our journey with you all. Thank you for all your love, encouragement, and prayers.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Ups and downs
I haven't written in a while, so I figured I would write to catch everyone up on what has been going on with the process.
The good news is we only have a handful of forms left to turn in before we can start our interviews. I went last week to have my physical done and will have the medical form sent off this week. I called today to get our CPR certificates sent to us. We also registered for our parenting class we have to take. Michael has to get his physical done and fill out the financial report.
Now, the not so great news...we went to do our taxes tonight because we also have to send in our reports from the past two years. Well, we knew that we would most likely owe the IRS, but we were not really prepared for how much we do owe. We have already been struggling with saving money each month because of the added expense of family insurance which we had to get for adoption as well. So, now we owe the IRS and will definitely not be saving any money this month and probably not next month either.
It is pretty disheartening because we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but then you feel like you get knocked back on your butt. I know that we will figure things out and that everything is in God's timing; it's just a a matter of learning to trust in every situation. I'm definitely learning a lot through this process.
I will keep y'all updated once we move into the interview process. As always, we truly appreciate all your encouragement, prayers, and support.
Friday, January 24, 2014
What a Day!
Ok, so this post doesn't really have anything to do with adoption, but I just had to share my day with y'all.
Let me start by saying that yesterday was ROUGH! It was just one of those days where every tiny thing gets on your nerves. I know we've all had those days. So, I went to bed early last night determined to have a better day Friday.
I woke up this morning feel great and rested after getting 8 full hours of sleep. So, I put my Christian music on for the ride to school which was great. Right before turning into the school I saw a rainbow! What?! How was there even a rainbow in the sky this morning? It was awesome and just gave me more hope that today would be an awesome day.
I get to school and my sweet students ask if we are having chapel. We usually have it on Fridays at least twice a month. We weren't having it today, so the kids asked if we could have our own. Well, of course we can! So, I asked some of the kids to give me the name of their favorite worship songs. We had a short devotion and then we sang the songs. Man, there is just something truly amazing about hearing children sing praises to God! As if that didn't melt my heart enough, we were singing our last song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" when I look around the room in time to see one of my precious babies with her hand in the air with no shame full on worshipping! Talk about giving you chills and about making me cry! What a fantastic way to start the day! And you know it's good when 10-11 year olds tell you that they could truly feel the Spirit in the room. Now, the kids want the singing to become a daily part of our devotions. What a blessing to work in a school where we can worship our Lord! Also, what a blessing that children are asking to have longer, more in depth, and worshipful devotions each day. Needless to say, we had a pretty great day.
Let me start by saying that yesterday was ROUGH! It was just one of those days where every tiny thing gets on your nerves. I know we've all had those days. So, I went to bed early last night determined to have a better day Friday.
I woke up this morning feel great and rested after getting 8 full hours of sleep. So, I put my Christian music on for the ride to school which was great. Right before turning into the school I saw a rainbow! What?! How was there even a rainbow in the sky this morning? It was awesome and just gave me more hope that today would be an awesome day.
I get to school and my sweet students ask if we are having chapel. We usually have it on Fridays at least twice a month. We weren't having it today, so the kids asked if we could have our own. Well, of course we can! So, I asked some of the kids to give me the name of their favorite worship songs. We had a short devotion and then we sang the songs. Man, there is just something truly amazing about hearing children sing praises to God! As if that didn't melt my heart enough, we were singing our last song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" when I look around the room in time to see one of my precious babies with her hand in the air with no shame full on worshipping! Talk about giving you chills and about making me cry! What a fantastic way to start the day! And you know it's good when 10-11 year olds tell you that they could truly feel the Spirit in the room. Now, the kids want the singing to become a daily part of our devotions. What a blessing to work in a school where we can worship our Lord! Also, what a blessing that children are asking to have longer, more in depth, and worshipful devotions each day. Needless to say, we had a pretty great day.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Christmas Blessings
The past two weeks have brought about several blessings.
First, we have finally gotten our family insurance. Yay! Now, we can finish up the financial report and get our physicals done.
With that done, we should be able to get all our paperwork completed and turned in by January. Then, we can do our home study in February and hopefully go on the waiting list by March!
Second, we are starting to get some of the baby bottles back that we gave out for fundraising. I have really enjoyed counting all the change. I know that may sound kind of crazy to go through and count the change myself, but I really like being able to see how much money is in each bottle.
Third, we received amazing blessings from my school. Five elementary classes, mine included, all brought in money to go towards the adoption. Talk about selfless children! It made my day to see how excited they were to give to me, even when giving to us meant not giving gifts to each other! These sweet children will never know how much it means to us! Overall, they raised $675! I will never be able to thank these families enough. Many of the children have not had me as a teacher yet, which means their parents do not know me very well either, yet they were still willing to help us in our journey to become parents.
Along with the money, I received notes from four of my students. They were such sweet notes about how they couldn't wait to meet the baby one day and that I will be a good mom. One of them, however, was not written for me....it was written for our future child. It was such a sweet note. It made me cry! I can't wait to put all of these notes and cards in a book to show our child how many people were so excited to help us become his or her parents.
Overall, our family and friends have donated $995! Wow!
Thank you so much for the continued love, support, and prayers.
I want to leave you with a video of a song that helps me remember to worship and thank God everyday during our wait.
http://youtu.be/i6X71sXagUY
First, we have finally gotten our family insurance. Yay! Now, we can finish up the financial report and get our physicals done.
With that done, we should be able to get all our paperwork completed and turned in by January. Then, we can do our home study in February and hopefully go on the waiting list by March!
Second, we are starting to get some of the baby bottles back that we gave out for fundraising. I have really enjoyed counting all the change. I know that may sound kind of crazy to go through and count the change myself, but I really like being able to see how much money is in each bottle.
Third, we received amazing blessings from my school. Five elementary classes, mine included, all brought in money to go towards the adoption. Talk about selfless children! It made my day to see how excited they were to give to me, even when giving to us meant not giving gifts to each other! These sweet children will never know how much it means to us! Overall, they raised $675! I will never be able to thank these families enough. Many of the children have not had me as a teacher yet, which means their parents do not know me very well either, yet they were still willing to help us in our journey to become parents.
Along with the money, I received notes from four of my students. They were such sweet notes about how they couldn't wait to meet the baby one day and that I will be a good mom. One of them, however, was not written for me....it was written for our future child. It was such a sweet note. It made me cry! I can't wait to put all of these notes and cards in a book to show our child how many people were so excited to help us become his or her parents.
Overall, our family and friends have donated $995! Wow!
Thank you so much for the continued love, support, and prayers.
I want to leave you with a video of a song that helps me remember to worship and thank God everyday during our wait.
http://youtu.be/i6X71sXagUY
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thankful for Infertility
As I've gone through the month of November, I have participated in the 30 days of thanks on Facebook. This has gotten me thinking about all the things I am thankful for in my life. This morning, on Thanksgiving Day, God has placed it on my heart to share with you that there are things to be thankful for in dealing with infertility. Here are a few:
1. I'm thankful that I've never been pregnant. I know many of you are probably thinking, "What are you talking about?! You are going through the adoption process to get a baby, so why are you glad you've never been pregnant?!" Let me explain. I have always said that I wanted to have a child of my own. What woman doesn't. However, I have also said that I don't think I could ever be strong enough to handle getting pregnant and then suffering a miscarriage. I have known several woman who had miscarriages, some of them suffered several. I know that it has made all of these women stronger, but I don't think I am strong enough to handle that. Therefore, I am thankful that I've never gotten pregnant. For me, infertility is much easier to handle when I know I cannot get pregnant at all. Yes, I know miracles can happen. No, I'm not saying that I don't think a miracle could happen for us. But, I'm sure many other couples who have dealt with infertility will tell you that while you know miracles can happen, it is much easier to be realistic so you don't continue to be absolutely heartbroken every month when it just doesn't happen.
2. I'm thankful that these trials have brought Michael and me closer. So many times infertility issues drive couples apart. Sometimes the husband or wife can feel like they are being blamed for the infertility. How is that fair? It's not like he or she wanted this to happen! I am thankful every day for how wonderful Michael was during all the testing, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it was for him. He has continues to be a wonderful support through all the trials we have gone through to finally make it to this point in our journey. I could not have asked for a better partner in all this. He is amazing!
3. I'm thankful for in-laws who have been through these same trials. Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, it has been extremely helpful and comforting to have the Cornwalls to talk to about our journey. They know exactly what we are going through. They are helping us with the adoption process because they went through this several times. They may have only adopted two children, but they went through the process in several different states since Mr. Cornwall was in the Air Force. Unfortunately, they also know the heartbreak of having a birth mother change her mind when they had prepared to bring home a precious baby. I pray that Michael and I do not have to deal with that, but I know if we do they will be right there with us every step of the way. They will cry with us, comfort us, and let us yell and scream if we need to. They have already let us do that so far and are able to not take anything personally because they have been in our shoes.
4. I'm thankful that God continues to teach me new things through this journey. I am learning to trust in God's perfect plan for us instead of my "perfect" plan. I am learning to trust in God's timing. It is actually an amazing and crazy thing to sit around and wonder: is our child conceived yet? Is there a birth mother out there right now that could be carrying our child?
I could probably go on with other things I'm thankful for in this time, but I'll stop there for now.
I would like to be honest about something though. During most of the year, I can go on with my life as normal and the infertility (now...2 yrs after being diagnosed) doesn't upset me as much. But, there is something about the holidays that makes it harder. Every holiday season I think, "Hopefully next year we'll have our child and will be celebrating all the fun firsts." So, as we come to another holiday season and we are still childless, it does hurt. I want so badly to be able to send out an adorable Pinterest-inspired Christmas card of my precious baby. Once again, I do know it will happen and I do trust in God's timing, but I do hope that people who have not dealt with infertility can understand our pain, especially this time of year. However, that doesn't mean you need to tiptoe around my feelings. I promise you that I am truly happy for any of my family and friends who are pregnant or have new babies.
I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this time with your family and friends!
1. I'm thankful that I've never been pregnant. I know many of you are probably thinking, "What are you talking about?! You are going through the adoption process to get a baby, so why are you glad you've never been pregnant?!" Let me explain. I have always said that I wanted to have a child of my own. What woman doesn't. However, I have also said that I don't think I could ever be strong enough to handle getting pregnant and then suffering a miscarriage. I have known several woman who had miscarriages, some of them suffered several. I know that it has made all of these women stronger, but I don't think I am strong enough to handle that. Therefore, I am thankful that I've never gotten pregnant. For me, infertility is much easier to handle when I know I cannot get pregnant at all. Yes, I know miracles can happen. No, I'm not saying that I don't think a miracle could happen for us. But, I'm sure many other couples who have dealt with infertility will tell you that while you know miracles can happen, it is much easier to be realistic so you don't continue to be absolutely heartbroken every month when it just doesn't happen.
2. I'm thankful that these trials have brought Michael and me closer. So many times infertility issues drive couples apart. Sometimes the husband or wife can feel like they are being blamed for the infertility. How is that fair? It's not like he or she wanted this to happen! I am thankful every day for how wonderful Michael was during all the testing, no matter how awkward and uncomfortable it was for him. He has continues to be a wonderful support through all the trials we have gone through to finally make it to this point in our journey. I could not have asked for a better partner in all this. He is amazing!
3. I'm thankful for in-laws who have been through these same trials. Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, it has been extremely helpful and comforting to have the Cornwalls to talk to about our journey. They know exactly what we are going through. They are helping us with the adoption process because they went through this several times. They may have only adopted two children, but they went through the process in several different states since Mr. Cornwall was in the Air Force. Unfortunately, they also know the heartbreak of having a birth mother change her mind when they had prepared to bring home a precious baby. I pray that Michael and I do not have to deal with that, but I know if we do they will be right there with us every step of the way. They will cry with us, comfort us, and let us yell and scream if we need to. They have already let us do that so far and are able to not take anything personally because they have been in our shoes.
4. I'm thankful that God continues to teach me new things through this journey. I am learning to trust in God's perfect plan for us instead of my "perfect" plan. I am learning to trust in God's timing. It is actually an amazing and crazy thing to sit around and wonder: is our child conceived yet? Is there a birth mother out there right now that could be carrying our child?
I could probably go on with other things I'm thankful for in this time, but I'll stop there for now.
I would like to be honest about something though. During most of the year, I can go on with my life as normal and the infertility (now...2 yrs after being diagnosed) doesn't upset me as much. But, there is something about the holidays that makes it harder. Every holiday season I think, "Hopefully next year we'll have our child and will be celebrating all the fun firsts." So, as we come to another holiday season and we are still childless, it does hurt. I want so badly to be able to send out an adorable Pinterest-inspired Christmas card of my precious baby. Once again, I do know it will happen and I do trust in God's timing, but I do hope that people who have not dealt with infertility can understand our pain, especially this time of year. However, that doesn't mean you need to tiptoe around my feelings. I promise you that I am truly happy for any of my family and friends who are pregnant or have new babies.
I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy this time with your family and friends!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)